Everyone knows that discussing tough topics with your teen and young adult children can be hard
Motivational Interviewing (“MI”) is a communication style that health professionals use to talk with patients about making healthy changes like reducing drug and alcohol use, taking medications regularly, or other lifestyle improvements.
Dr. Kline and the MILO team have adapted MI so that anyone can use these skills to make hard talks easier. The building blocks are simple: approaching a topic with curiosity, asking good questions, listening carefully, repeating back what you heard, and giving advice effectively.
What is Motivational Interviewing for Loved Ones?
Motivational interviewing or “MI” is an evidence-based communication style widely used by counselors, nurses, and other health professionals to talk about making healthy changes or committing to treatment. MI is based on the premise that the best way to influence another person’s behavior is by respecting their autonomy and creating space for them to explore their own ambivalence and (hopefully) motivation for change. Research shows that when professionals use MI, patients are more likely to make healthy changes like reducing smoking and drinking.
As kids get older, we can’t control their behavior. Even if we threaten consequences or offer rewards, they might just go their own way. What we really want is partnership: a relationship in which we can respectfully communicate with young people about important decisions. The stronger the relationship, the more our kids will care about our opinions and follow our advice. Motivational interviewing offers a toolbox of skills for escaping destructive power struggles and building partnership. Recognizing the relevance of MI for parents and other caregivers, I adapted motivational interviewing so that families can learn motivational interviewing skills and use them to have successful conversations about virtually anything.
How can I learn Motivational Interviewing for Loved Ones?
If you are struggling to be a positive guide in a young person’s life and would like to learn MILO skills, here are some resources:
FREE e-course: The School of Hard Talks Online
The School of Hard Talks Online is a FREE e-course that you can do at your own pace to learn MILO skills. This e-course has 7 modules, each of which takes about 10 minutes to complete. You can view the modules as many times as you like.
Read The School of Hard Talks: How to Have Real Conversations with Your (Almost Grown) Kids
Published in 2023 by Penguin Random House/Sasquatch Books, my book brings the science and practice of motivational interviewing to the people who need it most: parents! I know I may be biased, but I think it’s a great book. It is short, moving, and very readable. In the book, I offer realistic examples and a simple five-step guide for any “hard talk.” You will recognize your family in this book. Order here.
Receive one-on-one coaching in MILO skills
Contact me if you would like to work with a MILO coach to have better conversations with your family. Participation can be either on Zoom or in person.
MILO Training for Your Organization
I motivational interviewing training and consultation to professionals and organizations that would like to learn new strategies to support families and communities. Past and ongoing projects include:
Consultation to mental health clinics about how to incorporate MILO materials and themes into family treatment
Training for behavioral health clinicians and paraprofessionals in motivational interviewing skills
Training for community health workers who want to use motivational interviewing to promote client engagement and treatment adherence
Contact me to start a discussion about MILO training and consultation for your organization.